Chapter Text
People betray those they love, Riley’s Self Flower was repeating, its petals blood red with anger switching with deep, melancholy blue.
In Headquarters, the Emotions once again saw the playback of Riley’s recent experience. The red and green memory showed a chuckling Riley heading through the Athletics and Sports Science block, looking to talk to the coach and rounding a corner to be confronted with the shocking sight of Val Ortiz, the engaged Val Ortiz, in a passionate make-out with someone who was most certainly not her fiancé, Lucas Cardinal.
“Riley! WAIT! This isn’t what you think!” Val screamed as she realised she had an audience. In a blind panic, Riley turned her back and, ignoring her long-term mentor's pleas, fled the scene.
~*~*~
“You owe Lucas the truth,” Sadness prompted gently.
Unsurprisingly, Anxiety was worried about consequences. “What if Val is angry and won’t be Riley’s friend anymore?” she asked urgently.
“If it was that easy to lose her friendship then she was never Riley’s friend in the first place,“ Joy’s voice was uncharacteristically severe and Riley had to agree with that.
“This isn’t going to be easy,” she said.
“When is anything worthwhile easy?” Sadness asked.
~*~*~
Val was in hiding. Riley wasn’t surprised but it was still aggravating having to check all her possible hidey-holes after her captain’s roommate had confirmed that she had not returned to her dorm that day. “Val,” she said as she entered the hockey supply closet to find her captain and former crush sitting in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried against them, the air filled with her broken sobs.
With a sigh, Riley sat down just outside of touching distance. “I was going to say: ‘What the f*ck, Val?’ but you obviously beat me to it.”
Val looked up, her chocolate-brown eyes red with tears. “W… Will you tell Lucas?”
Riley considered that. “She deserves it!” Disgust snapped.
“It will hurt him but it will hurt more if he learns she’s been cheating on his own!” Sadness’s voice was more considered and richer with empathy.
“I know that this sounds bizarre, Val but, in the time I’ve known him, Lucas has become my friend. I owe him this. So, I will tell him if I’m satisfied that you won’t.”
Val shot her rookie a panicked look but Riley seemed resolute. “N… never again! I… I swear it, Ri. Please, believe me that I would never have let this hurt Lucas! He doesn’t deserve that!”
“Oh, now she starts worrying about Lucas’s feelings?” Disgust drawled
“Easy to say,” Riley challenged.
Val looked down again and, when she spoke, it wasn’t clear if she was trying to convince Riley or convince herself. “I swear, Riley,” she said. “I would never cheat on Lucas; Travis was nothing to me; he and I were just fooling around for kicks!”
“So,” Riley said. “’Fooling around’ to you is being caught with your tongue down a football player’s throat and his hand up your shirt?”
Val’s Latina complexion somehow paled. “It’s complicated, Ri. Lucas is the only one for me but… You don’t know the pressure!”
“The pressure to cheat?” Riley challenged.
Val’s face twisted, this time with anger. “Oh, don’t patronise me, white girl! Lucas keeps on making excuses to put this off and I have to show him that I’m not going to wait around!”
That casual implication that as a ‘white girl’, she couldn’t understand Val’s actions and motives irked Riley. “Okay, she’s pushing this!” Anger snapped.
Fear was annoyed too. “Wow! She’s really free-associating here. Is there even a solid cause here or is she just reacting to unknowns?”
Anxiety’s voice was quiet. “The unknown is always the worst thing to fear… To not know the face of your own dangers. I guess that’s why I rely on imagination so much.”
“’White girl’?” Riley spat. “Yeah, that’s me but I’m a queer white girl with a first-generation Japanese girlfriend who I’d never cheat on, even though we are struggling to be in the same place at the same time right now. Trust me, I get 'pressure'. So, that’s it? You’re getting bored waiting for him to get his Masters?”
“NO!” Val responded. “No… God no, I’d never think that…! I’m just… I’m just so confused and frightened, Ri! What if he’s just not interested anymore?”
“So, what?” Riley challenged. “Do you want to break things off until both of your heads are in the right place?”
“Break it off?” Val squeaked. “No, God no! I love Lucas! The sex is…!” Val hugged her herself as she mentally visualised it. “I don’t want or need anyone else to be my man and the father of my children! I just wanted to know what it was like to be with someone else!” From one look at Riley’s face, Val realised that her friend didn’t ‘get’ it. “Look, you have Mel but beforehand you must have had quite a few guys and girls, right? We all know how you used to hang out with Jordan Dolenz and there was Grace and Bree! We all knew that Carrie was hot for you before you slapped her down!”
“Wait, she was?” Libby was honestly surprised to hear that.
Riley fought down an insane urge to laugh. “What the f*ck do you think of me, Val? That I spent Freshman Year at Bay Area High sleeping with anyone I fancied? I’m not like that; I’m monogamous and Mel is enough for me and she’s all there will ever be for me.” Riley shook her head. Stop getting side-tracked,” she reminded herself. Riley shook her head. “Look, I agree that the ‘wait until he graduates’ bit must suck but, really, you have to ask yourself if he’s worth waiting for.”
“Remind her of the positive,” Joy encouraged
“You’ve told me so much about Lucas over the years. About how he was there from when you were both kids. How he made you feel comfortable in your own skin. That he was the one with the confidence that convinced you to try out for the Firehawks. That he was your first and he made you feel like a goddess that night. Do you still believe all those things? Do you still trust him to keep being all those things for you?”
There was a long pause before Val replied. “I’m scared, Ri.”
“Oh, now we hear what this is about,” Fear remarked.
Riley’s smile was crooked. “I think that we’re meant to be scared, Val. This is a big thing to contemplate. I mean… it’s only the rest of your life.” She reached over and squeezed her friend’s wrist. “This isn’t just about you, though. Do you trust him? Do you still think that he’ll make you happy?”
“Yes, yes I do. With all my heart,” that part was nearly a shout.
“Then you have to take that step in your heart, Val. You have to commit everything to him, no matter what doubts you have and not let curiosity or fear guide you to make mistakes based on wondering: What if…?”
“I’ll do it, Riley, I swear!” Val seemed desperate and she started to sob again. “Oh God, Riley! I felt so dirty but I just didn’t dare stop!” She looked at her friend decisively. “I’ll go to Travis right now and tell him that it was a mistake and that we’re over. Then I’m going to Lucas and telling him everything. If he wants to dump me, then I’ll take it as karmic retribution! If he keeps me than his needs always come first in the relationship! We can have the wedding whenever as he wants! I’ll stop birth control and have his baby! I…”
“Okay, she’s losing it,” Embarrassment whispered.
“Okay, okay, I believe you.” Riley said, waving for silence. “Don’t lay it on too thick!
Unexpectedly, Val was suddenly hugging Riley. “I swear, girl! I swear it! I… You’ve saved me from myself, little sister.”
“What? What did she call you?” Joy blurted.
“I’m the only girl in my fam,” Val explained, reacting to Riley’s expression. “I always wanted a sister to look out for… and to look out for me.”
“I’ve got your back, captain,” Riley responded, returning the hug wholeheartedly.
~*~*~
Joy looked down at Sadness, her face tender and loving. Sadness gently put her corrective lenses on the table beside her and joy’s shared bed.
As Riley had learned during one of her visits, the emotions’ manifestations didn’t have ‘bits’. Without their clothes, they just looked like featureless humanoid solids, technicolour Barbie and Ken dolls, in this case, Joy being yellow and Sadness blue.
Now, the emotions didn’t reproduce as humans understood it. Their bodies were made of pure thought and energy and their number increased depending on their human’s psychological needs. However, they did understand the realities of reproductive biology. After all, they’d watched Riley bathe or take a shower an innumerable number of times. They even observed her masturbating (most of them blushing fiercely as Libido micromanaged the console).
Joy and Sadness were dear to each other; they might not require the mechanisms of reproduction but they could still please each other on their own unique ways, sharing their essential essences. They were lying face-to-face and began to caress each other feverishly. The effects were immediate: Joy began to show blue stains across her loins and yellow stains appeared across Sadness’s face and chest. As their ardour grew, the two Emotions actually began to merge into a swirling mass of yellow and blue but which still retained echoes of their individual shapes. “Sadness!” Joy gasped. “Oh, Sadness!”
“Joy!” Sadness cried out, barely coherent. Suddenly, she made a wordless sound of ecstasy and was briefly aware of nothing at all.
The two emotions, pressed together and nose-to-nose, smiled at each other in a giddy way. “Up for round two?” Joy asked huskily.
“And round three, and round four,” Sadness confirmed with a shy smile. Joy laughed and was about to resume with a devastating kiss when…
*knock-knock-knock!* ”Joy!” *knock-knock-knock!* ”Joy!” *knock-knock-knock!* ”Joy!”
“Wait, is that Anxiety?” Joy blurted, nonplussed.
Sadness seemed ready to spit nails, something so very alien to the normally mild and gentle Emotion. “Just ignore her,” she advised in a tone bordering on a demand. “She’ll get the idea and go away eventually!”
*knock-knock-knock!* ”Joy!” *knock-knock-knock!* ”Joy!”
Joy shook her head ruefully. “She isn’t set up that way,” she reminded her counterpart. “Look, let’s just find out what she wants; cover up.” She leaned down to give Sadness a gentle kiss to emphasise her intent to get right back to it.
Anxiety had just raised her fist to knock on Joy and Sadness’s door again when the door swung open and she got an eyeful of a very annoyed and stark-naked Joy, her long blue hair seeming ready to burst into flames in the same way Anger’s would. Looking around the fuming golden emotion, she saw an equally annoyed Sadness, sitting on the bed and wrapped in a sheet to cover her own nakedness.
Anxiety nearly swallowed her tongue as she opened her mouth to speak. It hadn’t occurred to her that the two Core Emotions might have been… occupied and she now realised that there was no excuse or temporisation that would excuse her interrupting her colleagues’ ‘personal time’.
“Anxiety, you have precisely one opportunity to explain why you are at our door whilst Riley is asleep.”
Anxiety had to stamp down on her instinct to flee for her life but saw an opening in Joy’s words, took it and ran like hell. “RILEY ISN’T ASLEEP!”
“What?”
“She’s awake and calling for you!”
Joy looked past Anxiety to the panoramic windows making up the outer walls of Headquarters and noticed that it was ‘day’ – the scene was illuminated by the activity in Riley’s visual cortex.
With an annoyed Sadness bringing up the rear, Joy nearly staggered down the stairs from the habitat level to the control level of Headquarters. Joy pulled up her dress, hurriedly donned and on only in a wonky fashion but, being who she was, she was instantly focussed on the sight on the field-of-view holoscreen: It was Melodie, visibly in Riley’s arms as Their Girl stroked her girlfriend’s hair in a soothing manner. Soothing to Mel or to Riley? Joy wondered; a mystery for the ages, in all likelihood. As Joy reached the console, it flickered and a cloud of golden sparks surrounded Joy and she felt Her Girl respond to her presence in the most primal level. “I’m here, Riley,” Joy called quietly, touching the man controls.
“Joy? Great.” From the tone of Riley’s speech, Joy guessed that it was her inner monologue rather than her voice; obviously, she didn’t want to disturb Mel’s sleep. “Look, uh… I needed to think about what to do about what happened this afternoon,” Riley’s voice uttered, grief filling her mental voice; Joy noticed that the stroking motions of her hand on Mel’s hair became a bit fitful.
“She had a nightmare,” Anxiety supplied. “It woke her up and I haven’t been able to convince her to settle down.” That didn’t surprise Sadness or Joy. Expecting Anxiety to calm down Their Girl was a bit like asking Anger to do something with zen or Ennui to perk up and pay attention.
“You know how I feel about Val,” Riley said. “I believe in her; I loved her; hell, I f*cking near worshipped her for a while there back in Freshman Year. As much as learning of her relationship with Lucas broke my heart at the time, he’d become my friend over the years.” Riley’s voice fell silent.
“What is it, Riley?” Joy prompted.
“I love Mel;” Riley said. “I’d use most of the words that Val uses for Lucas. Hell, I learned them from her talking about Lucas. But, if she can screw up like that, who says that I won’t?”
Joy sighed and gently stroked the console, which had turned orange-blue. Her touches made little flowers of yellow appear in places. “Riley, to be honest, you and Val are totally different women. Val is an independent woman by her nature. She was scared by the idea of just trusting Lucas to do the right thing for both of them. She wasn’t really interested in anyone else; it was just a hypothetical.” Joy considered her next words. “Do you have any doubts about Mel and your commitment to her, Riley?”
“None,” the young woman responded immediately. “Mel is the one it’s… It’s me that I have doubts about.”
Sadness smiled gently. “Then let Mel be your guide and let your concern for her happiness help you make your choices.”
“Okay but…” Riley yawned and the holographic display corrupted; Riley was struggling to keep her eyes open. “But… but… Iwannaknowwon’tcheatforsuuurrreee…” The audio feed corrupted as Riley’s consciousness dissolved back into sleep and her eyelids visibly slid closed; the last thing that the Emotions saw was Mel snuggling in tighter against Their Girl.
“I think that Mel’s got this one,” Sadness said, earning a smirk from Anxiety and a matching one from Joy.
Joy turned to Anxiety. “Don’t touch the console during dreams. If she needs to go to Lucid Dreaming because of nightmares, get Ennui or Libido to help you.” She looked down at Sadness and Anxiety blushed as the two veteran Core Emotions joined hands. “Whatever you do… don’t come to us.”
~*~*~
After next morning’s practice (there was a match less than a week away!), Val stopped Riley. “Hey, Minnesota, a moment of your time?”
Riley tensed. “Oh no!” Envy squealed. “Is she mad at us?!?”
“Yeah, Val?” Much to Riley’s shock, she was enveloped in a hug. “Uh… So, I think that the talk went well?”
Val nodded, a hint of tears in her eyes. “I dragged Travis along and got him to confirm that we never went beyond heavy make-outs. I apologised to him in front of Lucas for stringing him along.” Riley was impressed; Val clearly had put a lot of thought and emotional energy into this.
“So, Lucas said…?”
“He was mad but he was also worried about me and about how waiting until he has his Masters in Economics is obviously affecting me. He… The wedding has moved forward to after the end of this semester. So, are you still up for being maid of honour?” Riley’s jaw fell open as, in her head, Envy, Libby and Joy all squealed in delight.
“Ohmigosh! We’ve got to arrange for dress fittings!” Anxiety said.
“As well as hairstyles and makeup! Also get ready for the dance!” Disgust added.
“And… the speech! Where’s my laptop?!?” Inside Headquarters, Anxiety was suddenly a blur of motion as she tried to do three things at once.
“I’ll call up all of Riley’s favourite dress styles,” Sadness said with a hint of a smile in her tone.
Riley, meanwhile, was not sure what to say or do. “M… Me? You want me to be your maid of honour?”
“Hey, the wedding wouldn’t even be happening without you so…” Val winked. “Anyway, yeah, I agree with you majoring in Psych; you’re good at this stuff.”
